Sunday, June 27, 2010

Divorce vs. Murder

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the Pharmacy, walked up to the Pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes and said, "I would like to buy some Cyanide". The Pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need Cyanide?" The lady replied, "To poison my husband."

The Pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kind of bad things will happen. Absolutely NOT!!! You CANNOT have any cyanide."

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the Pharmacist's wife. The Pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Tom's Golf Cart Accident

The Pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium.

She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband Tom had a terrible golf cart wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men inthe congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced..."Tom was unable to hold me or the children" she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remains of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

Again the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom. "Now", she announced, "thank the lord, Tom is out of the hospital, and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum will recover completely."

All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom". The entire congregation held it's breath. "I just want to tell my wife that the word is "sternum".

Generic Pharmacy

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and a generic name. For example Tylenol has a generic name of Acetaminophen, Aleve is also called Naproxen, Amoxil is also calles Amoxicillin, and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on a generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizen, Dixafix and of course Ibepokin.

Pfizer corportation announced today that Viagra will be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it give new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of; "Mount & Do".

Thought for the day:
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by the year 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely NO recollection of what to do with them.


Blake was a 1/2 brother to my incomparable Zoey. His major accomplishments include winning BOW for a 5 pt major at the Eastern Specialty Support, and winning WD, BOW & BOB at the 1999 Whippet Club of Eastern Canada specialty (over top 10 and BIS winning dogs)....breeder/owner/handled under breeder/judge Thomas Munch of Germany.

He was a super sweet boy that loved to straight race, and he won many, many turtle awards, but he loved to do it, so we kept going.

Once finished he found a great retirement home with a wonderful couple that lived close by and they loved him until his passing at the age of 13.

Rip sweet boy, run free and go play with Zoey when you see her. Love to you both.

Can SBIS, Am/Can Ch. Eclipse Sporting Chance

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Too Long

Wow, I can't believe it's been since January that I posted to my bad. I'm currently working as a Pharmacy Technician, Tyler is out of school as of tomorrow and will be heading to the 4th grade.

I've been showing my dogs now and again. I have a new boy from Sporting Field, his name is Spencer and is a son to the gorgeous Tawny that Amanda has been showing. We just completed a weekend at the Eastern Specialty and Spencer got a lot of nice compliments from fellow breeders and handlers. He placed in his class all three days.

Another addition to Eclipse is Willow, a champion bitch I purchased from Dianne Reimer of Snowcap whippets. She is a super big mover and I also had tons of compliments about her at the Eastern, where she made a deep cut in the Specials ring.

Father's day weekend is another show, and also coming up is the Potomac Hound Show in conjunction with some all breed shows. Hopefully I can get Spencer's championship in short order.
I had no puppies this spring, but do plan on having some pups out of Willow come fall. I think we've chosen a "man" for her, but not 100% yet, so I'll announce that later.
I'll try to keep this blog more updated in the future.