Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Christmas Decorating Contest

Once again, I was disqualified from my neighborhood’s “Best Decorated House” contest, due to my bad attitude!

I'm An Adult Now

25 Ways To Tell You're Grown Up

1 - Your houseplants are alive and you can't smoke any of them.

2 - Having sex in a twin bed is totally out of the question.

3 - You keep more food than beer in the fridge. (Well, we do have two fridge's, one for food and one for

4 - 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5 - You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

6 - You watch the weather channel.

7 - Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up".

8 - You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9 - Jeans and a sweater no longer classify as "dressed up".

10 - You're the one calling the police cause those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

11 - Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12 - You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13 - Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14 - You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.

15 - Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16 -You take naps.

17 - Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18 - Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 am would severly upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19 - You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, instead of condoms and pregnancy tests.

20 - A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer, "pretty good shit".

21 - You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22 - "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again".

23 - 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24 - You drink at home to save money before going to the bar.

25 - When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking, "oh shit, what the hell happened"?


26 - You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you, and can't find one to save your sorry ass.

You'll be a grown up some day too.