It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test.
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert... If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.
Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
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1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast,' give up now and do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
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2. Say ' silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.
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3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these???
If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.
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4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany .) Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, he decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of 'no man's land' between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no man's land'?
Answer: You don't bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, 'You don't bury survivors', proceed to the next question.
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5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.
What was the name of the bus driver?
Monday, April 20, 2009
Friends
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him.
So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks.' They really should get lives. ' He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!' There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.
He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends, he said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday! ' He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak Graduation day. I saw Kyle, he looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. ' Thanks,' he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story. ' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable..'
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way. Look for good in others.
'Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.' There is no beginning or end. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift.
It's National Friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him.
So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks.' They really should get lives. ' He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!' There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.
He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends, he said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday! ' He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak Graduation day. I saw Kyle, he looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. ' Thanks,' he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story. ' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable..'
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way. Look for good in others.
'Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.' There is no beginning or end. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift.
It's National Friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care.
Why Parents Drink
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. "Hello?"
''Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes", whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, "No"
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mummy there?"
"Yes"
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No".
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman".
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?''
"A helicopter", answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter".
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle... "ME".
''Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes", whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, "No"
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mummy there?"
"Yes"
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No".
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman".
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?''
"A helicopter", answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter".
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle... "ME".
Sunday, April 19, 2009
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Saturday, April 18, 2009
Atlanta - Saturday 4/11/09
Saturday came around and the Best of Breed dogs went in. It was a sight to behold, 142 Whippet champions in one ring. Judge Magnus Hagstedt split the dogs and bitches into several groups, and he proceeded to whittle down the entries. In the end he had 13 gorgeous whippets to choose from. Here is the final breakdown:
Best of Breed: Ch. Snow Hill Calliope, JC
Best of Winners: Festiva's Been There Done That
Best Opposite Sex: Ch. Sporting Fields Rock On, JC (from 7-10 Veteran class)
Select #1 - Ch. Starline's Chanel
#2 - Ch. Yorktown's Extra Vitamin C, JC
#3 - Ch. Sporting Fields Bahama Sands
#4 - Ch. Seaspell's Point Cabria, SC
#5 - Ch. Ableaim Just Not Anthr Pretty Face, SC
#6 - Ch. Kamada's Instant Millionaire
#7 - Ch. Shamasan Flame 'N Queen, RN, JC
#8 - Ch. Snow Hill Onyx at Stoneledge
#9 - Ch. Sunbeam Rembrandt of Endeavor, JC
#10 - Ch. Fleetwood Return to Sendr
All beautiful dogs for sure. My personal favorites, Calliope, Rock On, Bahama Sands & Onyx.
I'm glad I was able to attend this National. Thanks Gloria, Patti, Melissa, Shelbi, Dana and especially Jonathan & Zoey, as this is one National I will NEVER forget!!!
Best of Breed: Ch. Snow Hill Calliope, JC
Best of Winners: Festiva's Been There Done That
Best Opposite Sex: Ch. Sporting Fields Rock On, JC (from 7-10 Veteran class)
Select #1 - Ch. Starline's Chanel
#2 - Ch. Yorktown's Extra Vitamin C, JC
#3 - Ch. Sporting Fields Bahama Sands
#4 - Ch. Seaspell's Point Cabria, SC
#5 - Ch. Ableaim Just Not Anthr Pretty Face, SC
#6 - Ch. Kamada's Instant Millionaire
#7 - Ch. Shamasan Flame 'N Queen, RN, JC
#8 - Ch. Snow Hill Onyx at Stoneledge
#9 - Ch. Sunbeam Rembrandt of Endeavor, JC
#10 - Ch. Fleetwood Return to Sendr
All beautiful dogs for sure. My personal favorites, Calliope, Rock On, Bahama Sands & Onyx.
I'm glad I was able to attend this National. Thanks Gloria, Patti, Melissa, Shelbi, Dana and especially Jonathan & Zoey, as this is one National I will NEVER forget!!!
Atlanta - Friday 4/10/09
Friday morning we went downstairs to watch Shelbi in the Junior Showmanship class. She placed a respected 3rd, if I remember correctly, with Pebbles. This was the day Vanna was in the ring as there were so many bitches he couldn't judge them all on the same day. Vanna showed like the star she is, and even though she got dumped (that was my theme song for the week "Dumped Again"), she gained a lot of ringside fans and I had lots of nice compliments about her.
Friday night was the gala Top Twenty event. You must qualify for the Top Twenty throughout the previous year, and the dogs were a sight to behold. We had a great time dressing up and acting like some very important people, and Zoey sat ringside with us watching and taking it all in, I'm sure remembering the times when she was in the TT ring. The Top Twenty was won by the beautiful Luna. Congrats to Todd & all involved with her career.
Friday night was the gala Top Twenty event. You must qualify for the Top Twenty throughout the previous year, and the dogs were a sight to behold. We had a great time dressing up and acting like some very important people, and Zoey sat ringside with us watching and taking it all in, I'm sure remembering the times when she was in the TT ring. The Top Twenty was won by the beautiful Luna. Congrats to Todd & all involved with her career.
Atlanta - Thursday 4/9/09
Thursday was the day for some of the girls. Rayne, Aurora & Gina were shown in the 6-9 puppy class. Gina & Aurora showed very well although not good enough to place, but Rayne decided she didn't like the judge and backed away from him on the table. I think it was all very strange for her, between the wild ass carpet, the fancy crystal lights, hundreds of people and a very tall, but handsome judge who wore dark rimmed glasses just freaked her out. Needless to say, we got the boot along with several others.
Jaycie was in the Bred-by Exhibitor class and proceeded to act the same way. She didn't like all this fancy stuff, they are good ole country dogs, not spoiled little princesses.
It was fun to watch Shelbi make it deep into the cut with our co-owned girl Pebbles in the Amateur-Owner Handler class. She looked really nice I thought she might get a placement, but it is a thrill to make the cut at a National just the same.
Thursday night I got to sleep with my ZoeZoe. I took her out for late night potty, and I figured I don't need a leash, she only has three legs and I can keep up with a three-legged dog. I did carry her downstairs, and when I put her down on the grass, she took off in her akward three-legged bunny hop that she does, and off I ran after her. It was kind of funny, me running after a "crippled" dog. She is anything but crippled, handicapped maybe, but not crippled. She proceeded to potty by herself, I scooped her up and inside we went to bed. My beautiful Zoey sure is a bed hog.
Jaycie was in the Bred-by Exhibitor class and proceeded to act the same way. She didn't like all this fancy stuff, they are good ole country dogs, not spoiled little princesses.
It was fun to watch Shelbi make it deep into the cut with our co-owned girl Pebbles in the Amateur-Owner Handler class. She looked really nice I thought she might get a placement, but it is a thrill to make the cut at a National just the same.
Thursday night I got to sleep with my ZoeZoe. I took her out for late night potty, and I figured I don't need a leash, she only has three legs and I can keep up with a three-legged dog. I did carry her downstairs, and when I put her down on the grass, she took off in her akward three-legged bunny hop that she does, and off I ran after her. It was kind of funny, me running after a "crippled" dog. She is anything but crippled, handicapped maybe, but not crippled. She proceeded to potty by herself, I scooped her up and inside we went to bed. My beautiful Zoey sure is a bed hog.
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